Hi Guys! This week’s post is by the lovely Hodan, It’s a little different to what I normally share. It’s a poem by Hodan and I’m sure we can relate to it to some extent. Hodan’s social media will be linked below, show her some love!
My biggest mistake was thinking this body,
Could carry everything you left,
That my insides were resilient enough,
That my heart was big enough,
I wish I let go then,
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does right now.
Maybe it wouldn’t feel like it’s still my fault,
If I had a penny for every time you decided I wasn’t enough,
I’d finally be able to buy your love,
If I had a moment of silence for every time you chose something or someone or anything over me,
The universe wouldn’t have enough silent moments
The kids next door would stop crying,
The war in Syria would halt,
Darfur wouldn’t stink of death,
I wish I knew you never loved me,
Hold on- I wish I knew you never COULD love me,
Or wanted to, matter fact.
I wish I knew it isn’t possible for me to love enough for two,
That the nights of confusion and days of grief meant nothing,
Wait… mean nothing.
But I don’t regret it.
It hurts to know my love was never returned,
Never cherished like all the glossy tumblr posts about love and fluffy happiness.
I kept wishing for the things you never promised,
I kept hoping for words you vowed to never let slip past your lips.
But as broken as I may be,
And as much as I don’t know the first thing about what love is,
I can proudly collect my broken pieces,
And write an instruction manual about what it isn’t. // thanks to you I know what love is not.
If you want to get involved or share your story! email or contact me on my social media!